It’s been two weeks.
I’ve moved from tears to fear and (finally) some resolve. I’ve found myself throwing the f-bomb around a bit more frequently, in the forms of an expletive, and a question (WTF?). I’ve been physically ill. As in, go and see the cardiologist kind of ill (I’m okay, but apparently my whole ‘non-anxious presence’ is just a guise and my ability to compartmentalize is phenomenal. Heck, even my knitting gauge didn’t change).
What I know is… I’m not alone. What I know is that the well-spring of anger that is rising up inside of me is closely connected to my faith in a sovereign God who desires justice to roll down like waters. What I know is that life is going to be very different for me, for my daughter, for my church.
What’s most painful is that we’ve been played by corporations and those in power.. we’ve pointed fingers at one another while their fingers are in the till robbing from our children and grandchildren. This isn’t about the President-Elect… this is about us as a nation, and unless we figure out how to take back our democracy from the Oligarchs, we are looking at a downward spiral that threatens us all.
Don’t placate me. Don’t tell me how to feel, or how ‘real Christians’ act. I know, I know… my acting this way, my responding this way makes you uncomfortable. What the heck did you think was going to happen? How dare you vote to change our world in such a way and then expect me to sit back and accept it?
You wanted change. I get that. But the change you bought comes at the cost of our soul. Look at what you’ve unleashed. In my county, hate crimes are up by 17% – including gay slurs and swastikas, linked with Trump’s name. You opened that box. You encouraged its contents to swirl into the world and getting that crap back in the box isn’t going to be easy. There are some that have suggested that this was simply an unveiling of what was pre-existent, and although I agree with that to some extent, I think it’s been more than an uncovering of those sparks. You’ve helped fan the flames. But, hey… you get to keep your easily-obtained guns, and abortions will now happen illegally in back alleys just like they did when America was great.
I make you uncomfortable? Good. Because you’ve made me pissed.
I’m looking for ways to help others — with personal action, with contributions, with advocacy. It makes me feel better, and I know I’m doing some small bit of good in the world.